Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
