I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Your cock deserves a montage
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
