do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
