Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
