Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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