I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
