Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
