i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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