The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
