Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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