yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
