So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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