I faked an abortion last night.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
