I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
