he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
