Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
