Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
