I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just found a bag of teeth...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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