Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
