matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
