Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
