Whod you bang
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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