We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
