we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
