Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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