I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
no you cant smoke seaweed
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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