sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
