Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
