I want to stick my p in your. b.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
