There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
