Tell her she can't have a vagina
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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