We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
