Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .

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(420): View more from

So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth

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(970): View more from Colorado

went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out

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(630): View more from Illinois

You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop

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(651): View more from Minnesota

asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom

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(914): View more from New York

You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor

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