She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
