Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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