I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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