That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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