No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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