How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
