I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
