Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
