he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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