it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
