I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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