I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she looked like the before picture.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
