They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
