I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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