we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
pray to the hookup gods
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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