The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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