this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
